WHY NOT SKIP THE ICEBREAKER?
If you fear that using an icebreaker question would be a waste of time for your small group, please consider that the most experienced small group trainers are strong proponents of using icebreakers. I have found that skipping the icebreaker question and jumping right into the study questions leads to wasted time later because people will hesitate to engage in discussion. Icebreakers help each member feel they are known and accepted as part of the group. You will always have “talkers,” who can make it seem that discussion is going well, but how often are less talkative members engaging in discussion?
WHAT MAKES A GOOD ICEBREAKER?
For a question to encourage free conversation among all individuals in the group, it needs to be easy to answer. It should require a full sentence answer. A question that has a specific, “correct” answer or a question that can be answered with a “yes” or a “no” is not an icebreaker question. Great icebreaker questions will encourage participants to share something about themselves and create involvement with other participants, such as when people discover they have something in common with one another.
HOW LONG SHOULD AN ICEBREAKER TAKE?
For an established group, a good goal is about one minute per person. First meetings may require twenty-five minutes to break the ice. Experienced small group trainers typically say that if your group is newly formed or has taken on new members, more time should be taken for the icebreaker. After all, the “get-acquainted” phase is the early growth in the life of a small group. As each person feels known and cared for, there will be a payoff for taking time for the icebreaker. When everyone is more likely to engage in discussion, share prayer requests, and risk being vulnerable, you will find that the investment was worth it. A helpful tip is to suggest how long an answer should be. Tell the group that the activity has a time limit. Ask individuals to answer the question in one or two sentences or 30 seconds or less. Answer the question yourself and give an example of how brief or detailed answers should be. Start with the less talkative person and move around the circle to hear from the rest of the group.
WHAT IF THE ICEBREAKER DOESN’T SEEM TO HELP?
We use icebreakers to train our people that it’s okay to talk, and we want to hear from everyone. Here are some tips to help you get the most out of a get-acquainted activity or question.
- Your group may be too large to do an icebreaker together. Divide your group of 12 into 2 groups of 6 or even 6 groups of 2. Eventually, people will start talking. (Even two introverts) You may need to divide into smaller groups for your study questions as well, until everyone is participating.
- Does seating permit each person to make eye contact with everyone else in the group? Sit in a circle. Avoid three on a couch.
- The facilitator or another group leader can usually answer the discussion questions first to provide an example and “prime the pump.”
- Feel free to refine the question and adjust the wording on the spot to make sure everyone understands the question and what is being asked of them.
- Have fun. Don’t be too serious getting started. Lighten the atmosphere with warm greetings, kind words, and good humor.
- Be courteous and show each member respect. Avoid embarrassing others. Don’t roast each other. (Teasing may seem to lighten the atmosphere, but could be having the opposite effect.)
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Bring a drink and after you ask a question, take a long sip. This will communicate that it is someone else’s turn to talk, and you are content to wait for them to speak.
- Consider rephrasing the question and trying again, or waiting longer for a response. People sometimes need time to think of how they want to respond. They may be just about to answer when you grow impatient and move on.
- Direct the question to specific individuals and work your way through the whole group.
- Ask people to write their answer on a piece of paper and turn it in to be read. Read the responses and acknowledge individuals for their contribution.
- Always try to affirm their answer or thank them for contributing. Never make fun of someone’s answer. Avoid making someone feel they answered incorrectly. If they misunderstood, take responsibility for making it clearer. Keep trying. Good discussion is where we do many of the “one another” commands of scripture.
LEVEL UP
If no one in your group is new and all group members typically enter into discussion, consider using a LEVEL TWO question. For example, if your study and discussion will be about forgiveness, a LEVEL TWO icebreaker might be… “Tell about a time you had to ask for forgiveness.” Or “What kinds of offenses do you find most difficult to forgive?” Be cautious not to encourage gossip or slander. LEVEL TWO icebreakers can help a group discussion go deep quickly. WARNING: LEVEL TWO icebreaker questions are for groups where everyone already feels known and loved.